Not Cool.....

almost 3 months out and I'm at -100 total lost since I started this path. Post surgery I have lost 75ish lbs.

I know I've literally dropped the weight of a small woman but I don't care. It's not enough. I'm not bitching.. just mentally for me its not enough. Guess I'm just impatient.

Barely anything feels different.
I don't feel better about myself.
I don't have more energy.
I don't feel like its been worth it so far.
I don't even look different.

Only things that have changed are:
Clothes are too loose.
I eat a lot more freaking cheese now.
I can't eat good food regularly.
I can't eat and drink at the same time.


But good news is that I have been on my goal of about 20-25lbs lost a month since after surgery.

Hoping for another -50 by my birthday which is in September. If I hit that goal.. maybe I'll finally be happy about something. Hopefully I can make it.
Oh, and -25 by the night before I step onto the plane to go to SF in August.


PS- I picked up a 25lb dumbbell the other day.. and it felt so heavy. WTF I carried around 4 of those with me for the past year +? holy fuck man. That puts it in perspective.

Fattie Vs. Food

To my PB, Vutha--

Sorry I haven't updated in a couple days. You should have reminded me. I have wrote out some topics I want to cover in the next couple days. I'm gonna aim for 1-2 entries a day. Almost always it'll be 1 entry because I'm super lazy and forgetful.
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If there is anything anyone wants me to talk about specifically just leave me a comment and tell me what you want me to talk about. I'll do my best to answer it and post it up ASAP.

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Have you ever seen Man Vs. Food on the Travel Channel? It's probably one of the best food shows on TV...second to Diner's, Drive-in's and Dives on The Food Network and right up there with Good Eats.

I have no idea why I subject myself to the mental torture of mind hunger when I watch these shows. There is just something about trying something new and tasty that gets me to keep watching the shows every time it's on.

Back before I became a reformed fattie I had dreams of having my own similar show where I go sample awesome food from all over the country. Too bad that won't happen anytime soon... if ever. Way too easy to slip up from just smelling the food. Hell, I'm watching it at my desk and I just had to have some food while i watched it. That's so sad.

At least I ate cheese instead of what was shown on TV.

I'm such a masochist.. that's the word right? I hope so.

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There are WAY too many commercials for food on TV. No wonder a lot of people are fat.

I love Food Network.

I love watching people cook.

I'm soo fucked because of this haha.